An Acrostic Ode

  Struggling for sanity, your

  Eyes

  Always told the truth:

“Nothing to hide here,

  Man, I am what I am.”

  Occasionally joyful, your love

  Resonated in that

  Reassuring way:  you told me

  I belonged.  And the

  Sincerity with which you carried

  On should be a lesson to us all.

  Not anyone you loved will ever be the same.

The Perspective of Loss

There is something to say

At times like these

Something like “I’m so sorry

For your loss”

But “I’m so sorry”

Never seems to sum it up

Doesn’t touch the size

Of the pain

Or the scope

Of the void

The focus, you see,

At times like these,

Is on the sorrow

Of the Ones

Left Behind.

As it very well should be.

Those Ones Left Behind

Will never hear

Or see, or touch,

Or smell him again.

They don’t get to say

“I love you”

Or, “You make me so mad!”

Or anything, anymore.

And so we are sorry

For the loss,

For the pain,

For the void.

For his family,

His mother,

His Ones Left Behind.

. . .

What would he say

If we could hear him?

Something like, “Don’t cry for me,

I love you.”

Because he is free.

His joy is never-ending.

His soul is alive:

He dances,

He smiles,

He is light.

His focus, you see,

Has changed for good

It’s nothing but love

He breathes joy

He is Light.

And that is okay with me.

For Sean.

Circle of Joy

Vitality I have
Given by the trees
Bursting with life
Strong and steady
Testament to recurring youth

Tranquility I have
Wading in the water
Reflecting upon the shore
Dripping from the sky
Rippling through time

Freedom I have
In the vastness of the sky
Twinkling each night
Glowing all day long
Refreshingly endless

Creativity I have
Colored by the flowers
Dancing in the wind
Bursting into life
Uniquely, beautifully splendid

Confidence I have
Like mountains standing proud
Jutting into the sky
Daring us to climb
Statuesquely weathered

Abundance I have
In earthly delights
Apple, mango, blueberry groves
Avocado trees and kale
Mother Earth is nurturer

Humility I have
Crashing thunderous sky
Tsunami flood reminders
Tornadic slap upon my wrist
Sheer Godliness of birth

Loveliness I have
A sharing of the joy
Honoring with life
Unity with all
Embraced by everything.

Dawn

Your face

In the morning

Lined by nothing but the sun

and that stubble that says "I worked for this

this life I have for you."

Your eyes

Glinting like a river in the fall

Golden and deep

Promising a rich tomorrow

full of giggles and magical fingertips

Your heartbeat

Beneath chest plated with iron and love

Makes mine swell

And my eyes

Become an ocean

and the moon

is our purpose.

Stillness

Journey with me! Let's go

Everywhere that no one's been.

Race you to the top of the world

Ending up in moonlit sea

Making love 'till sunrise lights

Your eyes.

Dance with me

Until the music stops; then just

Be

Everything you are.

The Beast's Revenge

A winged beast cannot surprise

His victim quite as well

As one who slithers on the ground,

Instead of armor using stealth.

He creeps along under the rug

Barely makes a sound

Stirs nothing in the air at all

Waits ‘till no one is around

Unsuspecting happy girl

Dances in her room

Makes-believe she falls in love

As she twirls and dips her broom

Darkening the lights for sleep

She curls into her bed

Beast slithers nearer now

And creeps into her head

Vicious nightmares seem so real

Breaths harder to take

She cannot fight what she can’t see;

She was not looking for a snake

Scale tips, at last, to favor Beast

Her hope fades with her fight

Forgetting why she fought at all

She caves in to the night

Slithers on the ground with Beast

Feeds on mildewing despair

Does not recall her life at all

Cannot remember how to care

Venomous drips from beastly fangs

Make way for monstrous delight

He claimed his victim’s life and then

He took away her flight.

Receding back under the rug

He watches from below

Daylight starts to creep in through

His victim’s closed window

Drenched and cold, aching and sad

Girl begins to wake

Turns her troubled face away

From the dawn she cannot take

Lies in bed and hopes to die

She cannot summon any strength

Beast snickers from below

Giddy with her angst

Appearances she’s always kept

Despite her vivid dreams

So up she gets and bed she makes

And then she stretches out her wings

A fleeting thought like shooting star

Passes through her mind

Of a victory she once had won

But she lets it fall behind.

Meanwhile, Beast rejoices with

His project thus completed

Drunk on his bloodthirsty power

He missed her thought that fleeted.

Beast relaxes to a state less vigilant

Her hope he has deflated

No need for keeping watch on one

So thoroughly sedated.

Absolutelies

Vibrance is your energy,
Brilliance your smile.
Enthusiastically driven,
Success is your style.

Speaking of revolution,
Eyes dancing with glee,
Your comfortable confidence
Breathes humility.

Inspirational humanity,
Your soul fills up the room.
I can't help but to love you
Or to dance to your tune.

Your aura pulls me in:
A playground to a child.
Encircle me with brilliance
Let your heart go wild!

I'd shout it if I could -
If I thought you wouldn't scare.
If my "ifs" were "absolutelies,"
We would already be there.

Upon a Rock, I Sit Reflecting

Wildflowers and light summer breezes
Gentle bird songs and sunshine warmth
Like a cold blooded lizard upon a rock
I find myself out of my element

Too bright are my colors
Too flashy my call
My answers too lengthy
My purse is too small

Boulders worldwide absorb the sun
Water is wet no matter the shade
Like a creature of earth I stand
Amazed at the kaleidoscope of life

Too bright are my colors
Too flashy my call
My answers too lengthy
My purse is too small

Elements are not discerning
Auspiciousness not circumstantial
Perception often skews the truth
Faith returns in silent observation

My colors are bright
My call a bit flashy
I answer with care
I live unabashedly.

Wisdom Puppy

Example of purity
Illustration of Love
Energy abounding
Message from above

Enthusiasm spilling
Out of your soul
Into my heart
Complete overflow

Playful companion
Vulnerable child
Hungry for kisses
Driving me wild

Soothing my hurts
Encouraging smiles
Sharing my life
Enjoying your wiles

Wise little Guru,
Heart's on the mend
You be my doggie
And I'll be your friend.

Forgetting How to Fly

Sneaking, ugly, nasty mean companions
Like rainstorm thunderclouds threatening to break
Elusive spindly creeping shadows
Clinging to hope; a Black Widow in her web

Obscuring sunshine in tornadic chaos-fury
Drowning moonlight with shrieking ghastly howls
Sleep disturbed by bloody nightmares
Cold sweat showers when she wakes

Bitter disjointed garbled train wreck memories
A sickening swirl surrounding sanity
Nausea-inducing paranoia
Hardly deterred by heavy drowsy slumber

No demons to defeat by barely-valiant hero
Self-destruct on autopilot from within

Aching loneliness and ugly disappointment lie
With such choking gasping near-sincerity
When soul becomes destroyed by mind
I’ve nigh forgotten that it’s me

No Snow in Paradise

So exciting,
All the lighting
Decked-out boats
And Christmas floats
Steel Pan soundtrack
Riding bare-back
Twinkling palm tree
Christmastime novelty

Sand between toes
But nobody knows
Dreams of snowfall,
Beer, and football
Brothers on the sofa
I’m sipping on a mocha
Waking up to frost
Reminding me of time I’ve lost

Queuing up for Boat Parade
This year feels like a charade
Calling Daddy on the phone
Is not the same as being home
Little sis decorates the tree
Wonder if they think of me?
On the beach for Christmas Day
For once I wish I were away

Holidays in Paradise
Still smell of pumpkin spice
But waves crashing on the sand
Don’t sound like Winter Wonderland

In Persuit of Someone Else (You've Lost Yourself)

All the things you thought you knew
Have suddenly become unglued.

Waking up, you know that something's missin'
You call for help but no one seems to listen

Inconsolable, you're an ashy shell of what you were
You ask yourself, "How can I go on without her?"

Answers never come . . .
Your answers just won't come
Doesn't help, you don't know who you're askin'

The mirror just won't show you who you are
Empty Reflection sure won't get you far.

Crumbling beneath the pressure of not getting what you wanted -
Does it make you wonder why you want it?

Why do you even want it?

Answers never come
Your answers just won't come
'Till you find out who you're askin'.

Have you forgotten who you are, or have you never known?
How can you benefit from reaping if you don't know what you've sown?

Don't you know you are your own foundation?
There's a life in you that's brimming with creation!

. . . But answers never come
Your answers just won't come
Doesn't help you don't know who you're askin'.



(YOU need to reignite your passion.)

Missing Link

Flamboyant bouquet thrills

In color bursts and sunshine

Leaning into the sky

Dancing in tune with the breeze

Petal shedding with cool moon change

In unison, bouquet sighs

Rain splish-splash drip-drops

Swirls, twirls, and slides down from the sky

Pools in puddles and slimes into mud

Rivets of rivers run down the hillside

A mountain of droplets unleashed all at once

Together they depart; together they shone

A flock of birds flies in overhead

Bunches of ants all scrounging for food

Lions, gazelles, and antelope herd

And sparrows each year convene all at once

Learning and hunting, storytelling for all

Community structured love orientation

Human boy sits alone in his yard

Plucks grass blades in batches of fives

Interprets clouds as they each pass him by

Sighs ever so sadly, and all to himself

Pours concrete resolve into heartfelt foundation

Depending on no one for fun’s exaltation

He grew older while he stood there all alone

Surrounded by ones all arranged into twos

Boy built a big house on foundation he started

Filled it with things and then called it a home

Interprets himself in shiny glass mirror

Feels saddened, alone, and afraid of the dark

At some point, we lost it:

This lesson of life - the reason for life

Broken hearted and blinded and dying from pain

Outreaching is hollow, a hug is the same

Unlike all the flowers and creatures and stars

We’ve forgotten how to let “ours” simply be ours.

Seasonal Vertigo

Hemispheric change would be gentle
An opposition of what used to be
Winter is summer and fall is spring
Sounds perfectly logical to me!

Nightmare Before Christmas style
Mixed up jumble of holiday cheer
Halloween is Easter, Christmas for St. Pat’s
Still keeping the imagery clear!

Much harder to process, in my mind
The seasonal vertigo of paradise
Rainforest greenery and sunshiney days
No turning leaves, nor snow, nor one shred of ice!

We live in Never Never Land
What day is this? What time of year?
How old am I? Has time gone by?
Total eradication of doomsday fear.

Lunar Tide

Aurora Borealis sunlight play

Mirrored in Moon’s soft visage

Snow tuft dotted indigo backdrop

A Burning Bush to see directly

Planet’s Soul carries, sways

Gentle lapping, cooling, calming

Blue Beauty reflected, too

Sigh in unison with the earth

Chariot lays Sun to rest

Navy speckled starlit sky

Brilliant Moon come out to play

Silvery dancing lights the way

Silken blanket battles chill

Anticipation of the flight

Upheaval crashing rolling speed

Unity as Mother carries Eve

Tickling fizzing lighter than love

Racing flying flash of life

Yells both Man and Sea

Glorious dramatic climactic release

Gasps draw breath for smiles

An agreement has been made

Hands dip, clasp, give thanks

Sea holds close, lets go for play

Moon grins, drips its light to guide

Winds pass only to refresh

No longer riling fury waves

Allowing surfer girl to glide.

Fly

I used to think that there was
A monster underneath my bed
Haunting while I slept
Spinning nightmares in my head

Every night before lights out
I’d search, crawling on my knees
Look, listen, and look again
I found no sign of this disease

But soon as my eyes closed
My thoughts began to race
His jagged breathing rattled me
My feeble heart began to race

Toss and turn and flail around
Weep and sigh; lament the day
Chaotic sounds filled up my ears
Help! I cannot get away!

One night, in fact, I saw this beast
Gnashing, hating, bleeding lies
Wicked decaying spindly wings
“Oh fuck,” I thought, “he flies.”

Some time later I decided
To steal his evil wings
“Ah ha!” I cried; it’s time to fight
“Victory for human beings!”

Bloody battle did ensue
His advantages were clear
But I had heart, and I would win
My sanity was dear!

So up, up, up he flew
As I straggled far behind
But I won, as heroes do;
I caught him with my mind.

I tore those ugly wings of his
Ripped them off his skin
I looked at them in awe and thought,
“I didn’t think I’d win.”

Then I ensured that I'd be safe:
Sewed those wings upon my back.
I wrote a memo to myself to
Fly, fly, fly away upon attack.

Coming of Age

A shift of consciousness
The definition of oneself
From looking glass self
To introspective self-realization

Your opinion of me
Has nothing to do
With who I am.

Integrity is what we do
When no one is looking;
It is also what is found
Upon looking at ourselves –
But only when honesty is employed.

Happiness is smiling
When no one is around.
Generosity is giving
What you didn’t think you had.
Love is loving the one
Who doesn’t love you back
Simply because you love.

A shocking realization:
That I need no one
But want them just the same.
It means I no longer hurt
For lack of company,
But revel in community
And in humanity
And in myself.

Finding Footing

Transience is one thing

Detachment is another

Kills me when you say

To never even bother

I hate it when you’re right

But not because I’m wrong:

I’m scared of how it is

And I knew it all along

Sincerity is everything

But watch it fade away

Emotional obscurity

When nothing’s here to stay

Struggling to find

Common middle ground

Impermanence has got me

Completely overwhelmed

To love is to let go

Is there even time for that?

Wanting not to bother now

That’s my epitaph

Can’t do it though

I never really could

My sincerity will kill me

Sometimes I wish it would

Transience is one thing

Detachment is another

Kills me when you say

To never even bother

In Reflection

(a response to Carlos Castaneda’s A Seperate Reality)

I do not wish to understand;

Only to learn.

I do not need to comprehend;

Only to experience.

I do not want to document,

But to live.

Don Juan says to live

Like a warrior.

He does not mention

“Think” or “talk;”

But only to live.

Don Genero leaped

Into impossibility -

But only if you do not See.

It was a wildly fantastic leap

Of will.

Not willfullness,

Nor resilience, nor

Stubbornness compounded;

His magic comedy

Simply is.

Indulgence in stupidity

Is, “I must understand,

Explain to me the ‘hows,’

A discussion must be had.”

Sorrowful tragedy of loss

This blinding

“Comprehension.”

Golden Themed Heart Sleeve

For Elan.

An unexpected kindness,
This unseen intuition.
Ever present smile says
Don’t be so serious

Accepting and relaxed
Forgiveness –themed philosophy
Speaks volumes of compassion
Rejecting slants of lethargy.

Chosen insightful naïveté
Bears friendly fruits
Contagious happiness
Healing scarred wounds

No need to explain himself
To those who do not ask
A wasted life is one
Whose impact does not last.